


Escape From Hope’s Peak Academy

by rancidporkferret



Category: Muppets Most Wanted (2014), Super Dangan Ronpa 2, The Muppets (2011), The Muppets (TV 2015), The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: 100 gecs, Arms Tonite - Mother Mother, Arson, Best Friends, Crack Fic, Crack Relationships, Fall Out Boy Lyrics, Fall Out Boy References, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Frog - Freeform, Frogs, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Hand Crushed By A Mallet, Hand Crushed By A Mallet - 100 gecs, Hope’s Peak Academy, I Wrote This While Listening to Mother Mother, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Is Obsessed With Hope, Lemon Demon, M/M, Male Friendship, Multi, Musical References, Nagito Komaeda on the nintendo 3ds, Nagito being an arsonist, Neil Cicierega - Freeform, Ocean Man - Ween, Puppets, Rainbow Connection, References to Lemon Demon, References to Mother Mother (Band), References to Neil Cicierega, References to Ocean Man, References to the Muppets, Ringtone, Ringtone - 100 gecs, Song: Arms Tonite (Mother Mother), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Ultimate Lucky Student, crack ship, crack ships, gecgecgec, kermit - Freeform, mother mother, muppets - Freeform, nagito, references to 100 gecs, thnks fr th mmrs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rancidporkferret/pseuds/rancidporkferret
Summary: Kermit, also known as The Ultimate Muppet, goes to pick up his good friend Nagito from his new school so they can catch up. But once that happens, things go off the rails and a ton of weird shit ensues!(This fanfic originates from my wattpad account which has the same username as my ao3 account here, but it deserves to be in a better place so I’m publishing it here).
Relationships: Fozzie Bear / Nagito Komaeda, Kermit the Frog/Miss Piggy, Nagito Komaeda / Kermit the Frog
Kudos: 1





	1. Hand Crushed By A Mallet

PLEASE NOTE BEFORE READING: Everyone is a puppet in this AU. Even Monomi.

It was still the first day at Hope's Peak. Everyone was still at the school, and very confused and scared. However, just in the middle of everyone's confusion, a green flash burst out of the ceiling. Which was quite concerning, considering how much stuff it would have had to break through to get into the building. But, as Nagito looked over, the dust from the green creature's fall clearing up, he realized that hew knew who this peculiar green figure was.

It was his good pal Kermit!!! Nagito smiled at him as his figure grew more crisp and the dust cleared out furthermore. Kermit waddled up to Nagito and said, "Heya, buddy. It's been awhile. Wanna get out of here and catch up? " Nagito replied a little hesitantly, "Well, I guess it's fine since I don't have an orientation or anything today. Sure, let's go." So, Kermit broke down a wall and he and Nagito made a quick escape from the school.

When they got outside Kermit gestured to his motorcycle that he had parked just outside the school gates, "Hop on. And don't be nervous, I'm a good driver." Nagito looked at his motorcycle and then back at Kermit, he responded reluctantly, "S-so...you're sure it's safe?" Kermit got on the motorcycle and smiled back at him, patting the seat behind him, "Yeah! No need to worry." So, Nagito got on Kermit's motorcycle and they drove off.

As Nagito's fluffy white hair flowed in the wind, Kermit whistled the tune of his favorite song, Ocean Man by Ween. Nagito recognized the song and decided to sing along with him, "OCEAN MANNNN TAKE ME BY THE HANNNDDD LEAD ME TO THE LANNND-" As Nagito sang along to Kermit's whistling, Kermit got too distracted and they crashed into a tree. However, lucky for them, Nagito was the ultimate lucky student! So, even though the motorcycle was absolutely smashed, the two made it out of the crash with just a few scratches and bruises. 

There was one issue with the situation, though. When Kermit's motorcycle crashed into the tree, for some reason, there was a mallet sitting in the tree's branches, and it fell down and crushed Kermit's little green hand. I guess you could say..............Kermit's hand was crushed by a mallet.


	2. Arms Tonite

After Kermit's hand got smashed up, Nagito picked him up and held him in his arms, crying out, "H-how could this happen....? Who could have done something so terrible??? KERMIIITTTT!!!" Kermit just looked up at Nagito's face and whispered, "My...back pocket...my phone..it's ringing......there's an animal in trouble.." 

Nagito took Kermit's phone from his back pocket and answered the call, "Hello?" The person, er, muppet, on the other line said, "Hello, this is Fozzy Bear. Who might you be?" Just then, Nagito could feel it. This was his moment. He replied, "Oh, you want to know who **I** am? **I** AM NAGITO KOMAEDA, THE ULTIMATE LUCKY STUDENT! MUAHAHAH!!!" To that, Fozzy Bear simply responded by hanging up immediately. Disappointed in himself, Nagito cleared his throat and slipped Kermit's phone back into his pocket, pretending he had never done the thing he just did.

Nagito looked down for a moment, where he noticed his frail, green friend, had slipped into a little slumber from how much pain he had to endure. It was at that moment, Nagito knew. He fucked up. There was only one song that could reawaken his friend in this moment. And, as absolutely repulsive as Nagito Komaeda's vocal cords sounded when he tried to sing, he knew that he was the only one who could save Kermit. So, he did the only thing he could in that moment. He sang to his friend. Well, it sounded a lot more like screaming that still had a tune to it somehow, but it went like this, "I FELLLL IN YOUR ARMSSS TONITEEE~!" 

Just then, Kermit's eyes flickered open. He whispered the rest of the line back to Nagito as he gazed up, into his eyes, "I...fell...harddd...because I..have died~" Nagito noticed his buddy was finally awake. His atrocious singing had really worked! He leaned down and hugged Kermit tightly in his arms.


	3. Ringtone

So, after Nagito was done hugging Kermit and fussing over him, he picked him up and swung him onto his back. Kermit asked, "N-Nagito...? What are ya doing there, buddy?" Nagito replied, "Oh, well....you were hurting, weren't you? I know it was just your hand, b-but..I was a bit worried for you. So, I'm going to carry you on my back, if that's alright with you." "W-well...gee willikers....I suppose that's alright. But, don't push yourself just for my sake, buddy. Wouldn't want you to hurt your back from carrying me." Kermit said. Nagito responded, "Oh..y-you're worried about me? Well, there's no need to worry! I'm just happy I can spend time with my buddy!" And with that, Nagito carried Kermit on his back as they took a scenic stroll through a nearby park. 

As Nagito walked and Kermit held on tight, the light began to drain from the sky, and the sun started going down. Kermit whispered something to Nagito, "Jaws...is here....here is..Jaws....." Just when Kermit said those words, Nagito stopped in his tracks and whispered back, "Jaws...is dead. Long live...Jaws." Kermit's eyes sparkled with happiness, "W-wait...You know that song too?!" Nagito paused for a moment, lifted Kermit off of his back and onto the ground and said, "Yes. I do know that song. It was first sung to me by someone I used to know......You see, Kermit," Nagito turned away, cleared his throat, and continued what he was saying, "I've been hiding something from you. The truth is, I've been talking to your lover..." Kermit gasped, "I...Nagito...You've been talking to Miss Piggy..this entire time?" Nagito looked perplexed, "What? No! I thought you were in a relationship with Fozzy Bear!" Kermit averted his gaze and said, "I never knew Fozzy Bear was fruity...." 

Kermit looked back at Nagito again, "Nagito...there's something I need to let you know as well.." Nagito turned back around and looked down at Kermit, ready to listen. Kermit cleared his throat and sang, "MY BOY'S GOT HIS OWN RINGTONE IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW~!!!" Nagito's pupils dilated as he watched Kermit serenade him with this strange, yet intriguing song. Then, suddenly, Nagito knew what song this was, and he had the unshakeable urge to sing back, "IT'S THE ONLY ONE I ANSWER~!" 

Kermit stopped singing for a moment to admire Nagito's crispy, white locks. They looked so beautiful; like snow shining in the warmth of the sun's harsh rays. If only Kermit could break the barrier that stood between the two of them. In that moment, he finally realized what his heart had really desired this whole time; it was Nagito.


	4. Thnks fr th Mmrs: Part 1

When Nagito noticed Kermit had stopped singing along with him, he looked down and smiled at him. Kermit looked up at Nagito, "Hey, uhh, buddy I've got a question." Nagito tilted his head and asked, "Oh, sure. What's up?" Kermit continued, "I was wondering...so, if you're with Fozzy Bear like you say you are....are you really happy being with him?" Nagito thought for a moment, "Well.....I think I'm happy. Are *you* happy, Kermit?" Kermit sighed, "Nagito...I'm not so happy. Not as happy as I think I could be, at least. I think...there's someone I'd be happier with than Miss Piggy." Nagito looked a little concerned now, "Oh, is that so? Would you like to talk about it? I'm here for you buddy." Kermit looked Nagito dead in the eyes and whispered, "The one...I'd be happier with..is you, Nagito." Nagito's face went beet red, "Oh...well, I suppose I'd have to think about it..." Kermit responded, "Oh, well, buddy it's fine if you don't feel the same way. Uhh, take as much time as you need!" Then, Nagito said with a smile that melted Kermit's heart, "Thank you."

Later that night, the two of them went to Kermit's apartment and went to sleep. In the morning, Kermit looked through the refrigerator to make something to eat, "Oh...looks like I need to go buy groceries again. Want to come with me to the store, buddy?" Nagito rolled off the couch, still half asleep and said, "S-sure..." 

At the grocery store, Nagito was picking out some vegetables when an onion caught his eye. He whispered to himself, "This onion will bring about the end of the world. This onion has so many layers..." Nagito exclaimed, "SHREK ONION!!!" Kermit looked over and noticed Nagito obsessing over the onion, so he walked over and asked, "You like that onion?" Nagito looked down at Kermit, "Oh...Ahem. Yes, I do quite like this onion, Kermie. In fact, um, I have a proposal." Kermit looked confused, "Oh, uhhh...What's your proposal? Does it have to do with that onion?" Nagito grinned, "Yes, it does. But, it's also about you and me. You see, Kermie...I THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE OUR EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS BEHIND, FORM ONE OF OUR OWN, AND ADOPT THIS ONION AS OUR SON AND NAME HIM SHREK!!!!" Kermit stood there, flabbergasted. He didn't know what to say, but tears of joy were streaming down his face as he smiled up at Nagito and nodded his head in agreement. 

And with that, the armageddon that would eventually take place had only just begun. Nagito took a shopping cart from the grocery store and made a swift escape with Kermit sitting inside of it, holding their onion child in his fuzzy, green arms. When they arrived home, they cleaned the stolen shopping cart and put some blankets, pillows, and a few stuffed animals on the inside so it would be nice and soft. Once they were done improving the makeshift stroller they gently placed the Shrek onion child in it. Then, Nagito took Kermit's little green hand and held it tightly in his.


	5. Thnks fr th Mmrs: Part 2

It had only been a few weeks, but it was already time. Nagito and Kermit had had a wonderful time with their onion son, but he began to stink. Although neither of them wanted to say it, they both knew. It was time to put him down. 

So, the two of them did the only thing they could do. Kermit took his car and they drove out somewhere in the middle of nowhere that had a cliff. They got out of the car, opened the trunk, and took out the makeshift shopping cart stroller that held Shrek in it. As they said their farewells to the onion child they had raised together, Nagito strapped a bomb to Shrek's side. Kermit looked confused, "What's that for, Nagito?" He replied, "Well, I think we can both agree that our son should die quickly and peacefully, right? I thought this bomb would speed up the process, you know?" Kermit thought aloud for a moment, "Hmm...Well, I guess that makes sense." 

Out of nowhere, just as Kermit was about to kick the shopping cart stroller with Shrek sitting in it off the cliff, he heard someone yelling from the bottom of the cliff, "ABORTION IS MURDER!!!" This, of course, pissed Nagito off immensely. So, he did the only thing he knew how. He lost his shit. Nagito grabbed the bomb remote from the backseat of the car, kicked the shopping cart stroller off the cliff, pressed the "explode" button, and yelled back at the person at the bottom of the cliff, "LET PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY WANT WITH THEIR BODIES YOU PRICK!!!" 

As Shrek and the shopping cart stroller exploded in mid-air, a potent aroma of rotten onions was released into the air. It wasn't just the onion chemicals, but also the thought that his very first child was now gone that made Kermit start to cry. Nagito took a few moments to gaze at the horizon. It was getting late now, and the sun was beginning to set. He looked over at his fuzzy, green lover, and noticed he was crying. Nagito put his arm around Kermit and pulled him in a tiny bit closer to whisper in his ear, "Thanks for the memories, Kermie." Nagito realized his words had only made the gentle little frog man cry even harder. Seeing Kermit sob so heavily made Nagito begin to cry as well. The snowy-haired boy took his beloved by the hand and said, "Come on, let's go. I'll drive us home." Kermit, tears streaming down the sides of his face, responded, "Thank you."


End file.
